Please read till the end..
During 2016, there was the Brock Turner rape, the “grab them by the pussy” Trump tape and subsequent media coverage. I hated then and still hate now how utterly silent men have been about rape, sexism and rape culture in the United States. They are the problem, there can be no solution without men. They listen to each other over women. Why won’t they use their privilege to fix things, to stand up for women? Why don’t they believe us? Why does someone they know have to be hurt for it to possibly matter to them? Why do they make excuses for our attackers? Where is the empathy? How can they act like centuries of women being oppressed by men still doesn’t have an effect on women today? Why do they tell us it’s our fault? Why do they get so defensive and make it about themselves and their own goodness? How can they act like they didn’t know when it’s been in front of their faces? Why won’t they call out their friends? Why, no matter how much we speak out about our traumas, don’t they take us seriously? Why do they shame us for being angry? Why don’t they educate themselves? Why do they minimize what we’ve been through? Why do they tell us how to feel? Why don’t they use their power to dismantle systemic oppression? Why don’t they care about equality? Why do they try to explain away #metoo to women when they have zero idea what it is like to move through the world as a woman? Why should women-who constantly fear for our safety, who’ve most likely dealt with sexism, have potentially been raped or assaulted have to be the ones to explain things to men? Why should we have to do the work for them in our pain? Why is it left to women to fix things? How can they be so silent?
Now re-read the above paragraph and instead read “How utterly silent White people have been about racism, violence against Black bodies, mass incarceration and systemic oppression in the United States.” We are the problem, there can be no solution without us. White people listen to each other over Black voices. Why won’t we use our privilege to fix things, to stand up for Black people? Why don’t we believe them? Why does someone we know have to be hurt for it to possibly matter to us? Why do we make excuses for their attackers? Where is the empathy? How can we act like Black people being stolen from their communities, brought to America and made slaves, raped, beaten, sold, killed, segregated, had so many racist policies against them-that history doesn’t still affect Black people today? Why do we tell them it’s their fault? Why do we get so defensive and make it about ourselves and our own goodness? How can we act like we didn’t know when it’s been in front of our faces? Why won’t we call out our friends? Why, no matter how much Black people speak out about their traumas, don’t we take them seriously? Why do we shame them for being angry? Why don’t we educate ourselves? Why do we minimize what they’ve been through? Why do we tell Black people how to feel? Why don’t we use our power to dismantle systemic oppression? Why don’t we care about equality? Why do we try to explain away #Blacklivesmatter to Black people when we have zero idea what it is like to move through the world as a Black person? Why should Black people-who constantly fear for their safety, who’ve most likely dealt with racism, who have potentially been assaulted have to be the ones to explain things to White people? Why should Black people have to do the work for us in their pain? Why is it left to Black people to fix things? How can we be so silent?
I’m so sorry that this is what it took. What will it take for you?
Note: I absolutely do not believe what women have had to deal with is at all the same or as terrible as what Black people have dealt with and continue to deal with.The point of this article is not to equate the two but to reveal what personal thing made me really care about racism.